missing you today

Today, I revisited the notes on my phone. As I was skimming through the notes, a note that I wrote about my grandfather's passing caught my attention. Long story short, I lost my grandfather due to the coronovirus back in 2022. His passing has significantly altered my personality in many ways. I would not like to go in depth how my life changed after his passing but here is the note I wrote about him to cope with the pain of losing him.

The phrase 'missing you' does not justify how much I truly miss you. 

I still see you in every corner of the shelter that we call home.

I still hear you saying goodbye every morning before I leave to school.

Your passing has taught me the definition of the quote 'home is not home without you'.

It is funny to me how easily I cry nowadays which makes me ponder if I'm truly over my griefing period.

Maybe, I am.

I knew my memory power was good enough to remember the Avogrado's constant and Newton's Laws.

But I didn't know it had the capacity to remember every micro nuances occured that Sunday afternoon when I received a call about your passing.

No tears had subsided the pain that phone call gave me.

You said you loved my smile; the kind of smile that reminds you of your mother,

Everytime I smile now, i think of you.

It is a matter of fact that I still love whatever you showed me as a child.

No matter how much pain your passing could elicit from me, 

I'm forever grateful for giving me the happiest childhood that I cherish till now.